The experience of a Narcissistic Person

(This is again reprinted with permission from one of the friend I know, again it contain material not suitable for anyone has a faint heart.)

Since I was born, I often has a vague feeling that I am someone of importance to the world. I am important and different from other ordinary folks, by definition, and it is natural for me to be the center of attention. I am intelligent, smart and knowledgeable. It is the world which is too stupid to understand me. If you look at how Nietzsche, Freud and Karl Marx fare; you know the world has an absolute intolerance for truly intelligent people.
When I was in Primary School I am clever than all my friends, I go to the best High School I can find because I am intelligent. While other children are still playing silly games, I already start reading, and I read more than any of my classmate. Yes, I don’t talk to others much.
When I was in Secondary School, it is irritating to me of how rigid is the school system, I master Calculus in first year but I still have to learn how to do tax. I skip homework that I found too easy or simply stupid. I argue with my teacher on a better way to do Mathematics, I argue with my English teacher a better interpretation of the text s/he taught, and better usage of English. Since I like extra-circular activities so I joined 12 of them, despite the school limit is 4, I care not. When I went to the public library, they divide it into Adult section and Children section. What? I don’t see myself as a children so I never went to the Children section of public library. Why should I? I certainly doesn’t get good grades when I was battling with teachers all the time, it is just that they don’t recognize my talent. They are not representative of my intellectual level. Nobody could understand me better than myself. Who is intelligent enough to know me?
Latter my argument and distaste with that ‘good’ school is so bad I switch to another school. There I was adore like genius of genius, which I spent most time doing something else other than studying. I am first in every subject I study. Although I am clever, but that does feel uncanny to me, my classmate are simply below the standard. They are not qualified to adore me or worship me. How can someone of level of Primary School English adoring someone who already write thesis in University level? No, my sense of proud wouldn’t allow that to happen.
So I switch to a school with better academic standard, but my status doesn’t change much. Those who graduate from my Primary school still see me as a star. Primarily because my English is excellent compare to them (because most Psychology text is in English). I am unhappy with my status in my class not as a center of attention, because other study-very-hard-get-good-grade students are there. How simple-minded is those students adore student with good grades but not when I am not studying while still get good grades? My thinking capability is way ahead of them which doesn’t require any proof. Does any of them ever win me in any debate? These dummies’ careful preparation would teared down by me like bullet through a paper. Innate ability is something they simply can’t cope with.
In a year before the last year in the school, I start interest in playing politics so I join the election of Student Government/Union. How is it so difficult to get myself elected? Our opponent may have credentials but they know little of skills of debate. I tear them like lion eating goat. To be the head of Student Government/Union is like the star of school, that is what I deserve. I know, unfortunately it is not about intelligence but popularity. Nevertheless, I can beat you in your own game. It is me who deserve to be a star. My interest turned into girls after being elected, so I doesn’t remember much except I had few love affairs. Girls alway love man with strength and might, not loser.
There is not much happened during the University time, except I spend a lot of time reading books. I write thesis that my professor find impressive. It is at the level of graduate school while I am still a Freshman. I care not, it is me. I graduate with honor in Psychology, that is easy. Since all it take is just recognizing the real answers when doing examination, if you read the textbook then you can remember, even if you don’t you can guess using the common sense. I am busy reading, again not the textbook I suppose to study. I felt sorry for wasting my last two years in things like politics and
chasing girls, so I took all of notes from High School and study them until I understand. I need to verify by myself that I am a deserving person for every entitlement.
When I graduate I worked as Part-Time teachers, and switched between different schools. Well, when you are teachers, students are obligated to listen to you. You have power over them. And it is a duty for them to appreciate you for what you are. Moreover, my superior intelligence and knowledge would be well received by students. Because of the age difference, there is absolutely no possibility for them to beat me intelligently. I indeed get a few students worship me like god. I feel like I can use them for any purpose I like but I never did, Narcissistic as I do, I still need to make a living.
I am thinking to do something like actor, inventor or start my own business so I can be fully on my own. What do you think?

~ 由 newnewhkcc1976 於 23 六月, 2008.


在下方填入你的資料或按右方圖示以社群網站登入: 標誌

您的留言將使用 帳號。 登出 /  變更 )

Google photo

您的留言將使用 Google 帳號。 登出 /  變更 )

Twitter picture

您的留言將使用 Twitter 帳號。 登出 /  變更 )


您的留言將使用 Facebook 帳號。 登出 /  變更 )

連結到 %s

%d 位部落客按了讚: